Kapil Sharma - post in Times of India - Very touching!

Kapil Sharma: Seeing my daddy suffer in his last days, I prayed to God to take him

Aug 10, 2014, 12.00AM IST TNN[ Priya Gupta ]

Kapil Sharma

Kapil Sharma, 33, is a free-spirited person, who is deeply emotional, but lives life on his own terms. He loves his mother the most in the world and is not just responsible, but also loyal to his old friends, many of whom are attached to his hit show on Indian television Comedy Nights With Kapil. 

While Kapil has in the past stayed away from doing personal interviews, he opens up for the first time to Bombay Times. While we get to see his funny side on TV, we bring you his other side. Excerpts:

​ Your television show is one of the most popular programmes today. How did it happen?
I come from Amritsar, where my father was a head constable in the police department. He was detected with final stage cancer in 1997, when I was still studying, and died in 2004. I started doing theatre in college, but did not have money to give the fees. But since I was good in theatre, various colleges sponsored my education, so that I could represent them in the youth festivals. They would ask me which course I would like to join. And I would ask, 'Which is the most expensive course?' They said Commercial Art and I took that up. I didn't even know what it was. Though I did not attend much class, I also post that, did a diploma in Computer Science and used to love the computer classes as that was the only room with an AC. In reality, I learnt nothing about either Commercial Arts or Computer Science. My father had got very unwell at that time and I requested my principal if I could teach theatre to earn money. That's when I learnt a lot as a teacher, as you learn a lot from students while teaching. I used to do histrionics and everyone would love it, so I somehow wanted to just get into Laughter Challenge. They auditioned in Amritsar for Season 3, but I was rejected. My friend from school, Raju, who plays the servant in Comedy Nights With Kapil, was selected. I was determined and again went to Delhi for audition and this time, got selected and finally became the winner in 2007. After that, I did a few small shows before doing Comedy Circus and then past one year started my own show.

Let's talk abut your father?
I spent less time with my father earlier, but I spent time with him in his last days, when we had taken him to AIIMS for his treatment. Every parent has expectations from their children to go and earn. But he was very large-hearted and never expected anything from me. Though on my own, I started working for a PCO, post Class X, to make my pocket money. I now miss him, but at that time I would scold him and say, 'Daddy, you don't look after yourself and that is why you got cancer.' Seeing him in so much pain, I prayed to God to take him. At that time, we were left with no money and were staying in a rented place. My mother tells me that for the first two days after getting his salary every month, he would drink and have chicken at home and then work for the rest of the month. oday whenever something good happens, I miss him. Had he been alive, I would have brought the best scotch for him in his life. I cried a lot when I came to know that he had cancer. I once caught him drinking but he would say, 'Forget it, I have to die anyways.' I could not show him my emotions much as he was a police guy and so I grew up feeling scared of him. Of course, as I became older I understood how, in reality, he was actually very sweet and not scary. I once saw Naseer sahab's play, where he keeps telling his son all his life to switch off lights when he leaves the room, but he never does that. Then one day, his father dies and without realising, he starts switching off the lights automatically. You realise later how you get your father's qualities without realising it. There was a fruitwala in Amritsar, who was his friend. This man used to own a Contessa and would trade in almonds from across the border and would often give some to my father, till one day when he lost everything and started selling fruits. Every month, my father would give him a bottle of alcohol. When daddy died, I would continue going to him during his shraadh, and while my mother would feed the pandits, I would go and give him a bottle, as I know that it would have made my father happy. Like my father, I too am fond of rhythm and am always lively. I never knew that he was fond of acting, till one day, he had shown me his pictures from an old sandook, where he was doing street plays. And, like him, I don't get worried easily. For instance, I remember when my set had caught fire, everyone was hassled, but I felt, 'Thank God we did not get hurt.'

READ: 6 Punches that became trademark on Comedy Nights with Kapil

Who do you love the most in the world?
My mother. Everyday I can find new reasons for it. She would keep collecting money to pay for my graduation. She likes everything about me, especially that I always take responsibility. In January, 2007, we fixed my sister's marriage, but her mother-in-law wanted us to do a ring ceremony. We had `6 lakhs out of which 3.5 lakhs had been spent on my dad, so we were left only with 2.5 lakhs to get her married. We could not have bought a ring with that money. I came to Mumbai in April and as luck would have it, I became the winner of Laughter Challenge winning `10 lakhs. I called my sister at night, post the show and said, 'Buy your ring.' I then started doing shows and made `30 lakhs that was good enough to get her married. I then got my elder brother married. My mother feels that her son is the world's most bhola person and feels that I don't sleep enough. My mom is very simple and recently, I took her with me for the first time out of India to London. I had gone for my friend Yuvraj Singh's cancer auction. I am a big fan of MS Dhoni and I introduced her to Dhoni sir. Can you imagine my mother asks him, 'Beta kya naam hai aapka?' I was so embarrassed. She knew the name of Sachin Tendulkar, but did not recognise him. I got Sachin sir to take a picture with her and she tells me later, 'Why didn't you tell me that was Sachin?' But she was thrilled to meet Karisma Kapoor on our flight back and got herself clicked with her.

When did you have your first girlfriend?
We used to do theatre in college together. Then one day, she, along with seven other girls, was invited under a cultural exchange programme to do the gidda by Prince Charles in London. She didn't come back only and married a Gujarati store owner there for whom she was working. Coincidentally, I recently met her in London.

ALSO READ: Kapil Sharma to make 'Comedy Nights With Kapil' weekly

Any plans of marriage?
I see Salman bhai and say zindabaad. I will not get married for at least another two years. I see how when my friends are working, their phones keep ringing as their wives are calling. I am a free-spirited person. I went to shoot in Bhutan recently and stayed back there alone for two days, post my shooting. I don't get that love kind of feeling right now, as I just feel like working. I am happy with my old friends from Amritsar, like my guitarist in the show, who also lives with me and Preeti Simoes, who is my right hand at work. The music director Wilson is my friend. I have bought him a small studio, where he is still struggling. Whenever I have to make someone listen to a script or a story, I will only make them hear it as I know they will insult me on my face as they are my old friends. They know me better than anyone else.

Which were your top 3 episodes in the last one year?
My first show with Dharam paaji. He had said no to the channel and had no film to promote and yet, when I went to meet him requesting him to come, he said yes as he can never say a no to anybody. He came at a time when our show was not made and I can never forget that. Then Shah Rukh Khan, who was the first big star to come on our show. It was only after him, all big stars followed. And, of course, when coincidentally on my birthday Mr Bachchan shot with me. That became my most special day.

You are now starting to shoot a film with Abbas-Mustan as directors. Why do you want to do films?
I do TV and have content worth 70 films, but if I shut my show, people will forget me after six months as people's memory is short. But till today, the audience would remember DDLJ. I want to make comedy films that people should say, 'Comedy dekhenge toh iski.'

Any other wishes?
I read somewhere, 'Break some rules.' I felt it related to me. My mind is most active between 10 at night and 6 in the morning, so I work at that time and feel that that is my way of breaking rules. I then read, 'Give something back.' In Amritsar, we used to stay on the third floor. There was no lift. My mother had had a back operation and it was very difficult for her to climb three floors. So my dad shifted into a railway quarters, where one of the railway persons rented out his quarters to us for `700. It had an open kitchen and I remember the cat would come and drink the milk every day. It had just one room and one verandah, where I used to sleep. So once my grandfather came to our place and there were already my parents and the three of us, so it was very difficult for dadaji and he went away to an old age home. I felt very bad. Once an old person gets ready in the morning and his kids ignore him, he wonders in the day what he will do. You give him a duty of doing something and he is happy. So my idea is that I want to keep 60 old people and 60 dogs together. The old people can look after the dogs and the dogs can look after the old people.

Where do our values come from?

A very pertinent question as this question can perhaps answer the long sought human way of life and evolution. Very difficult indeed to answer this question. We often hear that parents are solely responsible for the values. I do believe this but partly.  I know of many a parent who have different values that those of their children. A great set of parents may have children who have contrast values. What can one say about this. I have no other option but to take you to the philosophical side of it and that is -  values are imbibed by the core consciousness of the person, his own spiritual self  which gets partly modified by the physical environment - parents, school, friends, education system, society beliefs etc. , but the core remains pretty much the same spiritual self.
I would elaborate on this a bit more. This has a reference to spirituality and the passage of the soul life to life. The backdrop is that the  subtle consciousness  travels from life to life to learn, correct itself from the mistakes and experiences and then move towards evolution of soul. In this process, the consciousness is required to chose the parent based on its past karmic evolution and guidance of masters. However, the self remains the same and post birth the behavior of the person would be primarily different but acquires quite a few things from the current environment as mentioned above that leads to further acquisition of experience & learning thereby modifying the behavior  that makes him/her ready for the next life.

It is said that the sub conscious mind reacts to tangible actions but the mind controls it and helps in an outcome that looks like a response rather than reaction. The values, hence, come from a combination of soul - values (the sub conscious mind that stores the numerous past life experiences) and the current life experiences.

Thanks

Top 5 Regrets people have before they die

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying In this article a Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets she has heard when people are on their deathbed. This article isn’t mine (the link to it is at the bottom). For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five: 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it. 2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Keesaragutta Shiva Temple

I went to the Keesaragutta temple yesterday (Sunday) and you must know how ! While I was going for a drive on the ORR, I saw the word Keesara and immediately recalled a dream I had seen the same morning where a senior person kept repeating the word “Keesara”, “Keesara” and that immediately flashed my mind by virtue of having seen the milestone (had actually forgotten about this dream - I donot generally remember my dreams). I also remembered that while the person kept repeating, I did not know what he was talking about as I had never heard this word. When I saw the milestone board showing 64Kms to "Keesara", I told my co – passenger that I would like to visit temple the same moment – and so I went. It was heavenly to have reached this place where I never could have reached due to not having heard about it. I guess some higher energy inspired me to reach this destination – by the way I am a very strong devotee of Shiva. Thanks and Regards, Atul Also posted in the following blog - http://saithinks.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/keesaragutta-the-temple-of-ten-million-lingams/#comment-216

What happens when we die

From speakingtree.in

DAVID MICHIE says we can experience a primordial state of consciousness when we let the agitation in our minds settle
The Dharma describes the death process and what follows in terms of three successive phases of bardos, namely death, intermediate stage and rebirth. How we experience each of these stages is as individual as our experience of life. Both medical science and Tibetan Buddhism describe the death process as one in which various aspects of our physical functioning systematically shut down. Interestingly, the point at which doctors pronounce death is not the same as that identified in the Dharma, which describes four further stages of dissolution before our very subtle mind leaves the body. This perhaps goes some way to explaining why highly realised meditators are able to remain in meditation posture, with no sign of physical decomposition, for hours and even days after being pronounced physically dead. Such cases are well-documented - for example, the death in 1984 of Lama Yeshe, one of the first lamas who visited Los Angeles.

For most of us who are not master meditators, it is not long after physical death before our very subtle mind leaves the body and we experience the radiant, space-like emptiness of the intermediate stage. How our very subtle mind experiences this state determines what happens next. In broad terms, most of us react to the dissolution of every aspect of our being with the response: ‘What about me?’ Our wish to exist as a separate self, as a ‘me’ distinct from ‘other’, perpetuates our dualistic experience of reality.

If, along with the grasping for a separate self, the most ingrained patterns of our minds are positive - if peacefulness, contentment and happiness arise — our very subtle mind is propelled into existences where such positive experiences predominate and are reinforced. Anger, anxiety and a sense of loss, on the other hand, will propel us in a very different direction. This is one of the reasons why we should do all we can to help our loved ones die a calm and peaceful death. They are about to enter a transition when their state of mind is of extreme importance in determining what happens next - perhaps for the whole of their next lifetime.

The state of mind, Buddhists train for in life, is to experience the space-like emptiness of the intermediary stage as a state that is akin to ‘the natural self’ - blissful, boundless, and free of concept of ego, karma and delusion. By reigning in this way, instead of being propelled into a future existence because of our mistaken assumption of having a separate self, we instead abide in the radiant happiness of non-duality, all karma and delusion having come to an end.

When we train in meditation and allow the agitation in our minds to settle, more subtle states of consciousness become apparent, and we can discover for ourselves, if only briefly, the clear and blissful nature of our primordial consciousness.

Most of us, however, remain in the intermediary stage for anywhere between moments and 49 days, by which time our subtle consciousness, propelled by conditioning, or karma, takes form in a new realm of experience. In the case of humans, a very subtle mind is said to enter the conjoined sperm and egg at the moment of conception.

Enlightenment To Go.